May 15, 2006.
Eight years ago the world lost a great man. Eight years ago, I lost my father. It was a moment in my life I'll never forget, and its a moment that altered who I was, and who I was going to be. There's no denying that. Growing up, I was an okay child. I was polite and sweet, but I had a temper, and the self righteous thought that I deserved greatness. Just like pretty much every other child on the planet. However, I had the teachings of a great man engraved in the back of my mind, and it unfortunately took such a catastrophic event in order for those teachings to truly sink in.
The night my father died, a hole formed in the center of my soul, and I told myself nothing would ever be the same. Back then, I believed that meant I would never be happy again, I would never be grateful for life again. Over the next few years, the teachings my father instilled in me would would evolve in my mind, and I would begin to realize what it was my father was trying to get through to me, and what he wanted for me in this life. And through those few years, I fought tooth and nail to drag myself up from the pits of depression, and into a man that my father and my family could define as being of character. I did almost a complete overhaul of who I was, what I believed in, what my mind set was. I delved into determination and following my dreams. And I believed that I wouldn't want to put anyone in the pain I suffered from my father's deaths, and the darkness of depression that followed.
My father left me a few words before he passed.
"In all of time and history, there is no moment more important than this one."
He wanted me to live in the here and now. To never succumb into the darkness of wallowing and despair. And to remember that what I do has consequences, and I should treat each and every day as important as the last and the next. And he left me a creed by which I follow. Five words that drive who I am and who I will be. Five words that define me. Five words that I live by.
"Become a man of character."
I will always regret that I didn't spend enough time with my father. I didn't get to know him as well as I should have. But I honor him by living with what he taught me. By leaving a mark on this world, and in this life. By being someone he could be proud of.
8 years and counting Old Man. You'll never be forgotten.
Love you always Papa,
"Dja Na Ba (I'm Gone). I love you all."
Horacio Gonsalves, May 15 2006 RIP
This blog serves as an update on the crazy journey I will endure as I follow my dream of acting as a career, because who knows? Maybe this will be my origin story.